Animekitten's adventures

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 08:01:09 GMT

Marmaid’s Tear

Petite, docile, swimming through the endless crystal clear ocean
The beautiful mermaid is like an angel of the seas
Swimming and swirling gracefully through the opaque waves
She hides her jewels of the sea in shells and other pretty objects.

Her heart when not luring sailors to their doom, is one that loves the creatures of the sea
She’ll swim and play with the dolphins, she’ll play with their babies and protect them when she can
She is the sea’s angel, her voice is like liquid magic
Once heard, you fall under her spell

However, once she loves whether it be another mer man or a human
She’ll do all that she can to protect her love
Her most precious healing tool is her tears, her tears can heal anything
That is why if you fall in love with a mermaid, most wounds won’t harm you
For she’ll save you if you need, which is the gift of her love.

Love

It’s a warm strong feeling, one that is sweet and true.
Once you find it you won’t want to let it go, once you find that special someone
You do everything you can to keep that one warm gentle person
The one that makes you feel like heaven, the one that makes your heart ache

Once you find that person, don’t let them go.
Keep them close to you and keep them in your heart.
Love them and treat them in the way that you want to be treated
And you’ll find your own little piece of heaven.

Two peomes that I just wrote that I thought i'd sahre with you guys ^_^ One is special and has special meaning the other is just a pretty poem. I hope you like them both ^_^ Yes I know its been ages since I posted. Everything is fine for me right now ^_^ I also am moving out of my parent's house, My freind and I are moving in together and i'm very happy with the way my life is going right now. I"m happy with my special someone, he is a sweetie and i'm happy with my life. Thats all i have to say right now. Anyway i don't post much here but i thought i'd share these poems. ^_^ Anyway love all ya guys and i hope you all have a happy night =D

No idea for a title

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 04:54:01 GMT

I"m happy with what Corey and I have. He is a sweetheart and i love deeply. He has a great heart and a lot of wisdom in his mind> I Love you sweetie pie ^_^ You help me out with alot of things. Plus you help me thorough times when I feel pain ^_^ So thank you for everything you've helped me with ^_^ Mew other then that i don't have many other things to say, day was good hung out with jaimi, got yummy food and that was about it. Meow anyway ttfn guys and talk to you later!

Meow meow hungry!

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 07:00:47 GMT

Mew I'm happy, happy though i'm sleepy! Meow *Ears twitch* I want soda too! Meow and i'm going to be completely random in this post! MEW! Sweets, chocolate, candy fruit pudding XD hehe i don't know i'm just being silly! I had emma over today and we both babysat my 5 year old little bro. We played hide and seek with him and had mock sword fights XD It was fun, and furthermore Emma's and my parents discussed hte possiblity of a living arrnagment for hte two of us! It might possibly happen next summer! Good news is i'll be out of my parents house >_< Bad news is it might be in upstate new york or something like that =/ I am adaptable but that means adapting to living in the country mew. I'm really unsure as to if I want to do that, I mean i defiantley want to live out of my parnet's home, but it means being a few hours away from friend's whom I am close to. I mean I"ll have Emma but still =/ *Sighs* Decisions, decisions >_< I hate making decisions! *Sighs* Anyway i think i'll go get myself some of the ice cream my stepmom bought me >_< Sad feelings creeping in and I don't want that! *Blocks out her emotions* Gah i'm way to sensitive i'm going to go drown my emotions in sugar. Thats all for my update right now but bah >_< I hate being so emotionally sensitative!

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 05:50:21 GMT

Intersting XD Most of it in fact almost all of it is gender confused XD

this quiz result fits me a little too well.....

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 03:34:26 GMT

You're crying because you are lonely. Maybe you
weren't always alone, but you've never felt so
alone now. You 're afraid to stay so alone. You
feel like no one cares what happens and that no
one even realizes you exist.

Why are you crying? (beautiful pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Me is a baka!

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 06:40:43 GMT

Anna-san no baka!*Sighs* I woke up late today, i had a yogurt for breakfast. Then when dinner time came around i rushed out to go solve a problem i needed to fix with a friend. THat means i had no dinner >_< Which means my only food today was yogurt! Anna no baka! *Sighs* I feel really weak right now and i wish i could eat but I can't cuse the kitchen is near my dad's and stepmom's bedroom. So i'm stuck sitting here on the computer wiht a rubmly tummy >_< This really bites mew and its making me uncomfortable as heck! *Sighs* I have to tough it out or head to sleep soon so then i can eat when i get up! myu >_< Me a baka and because yestreday was so random i forgot to do things i needed to do! Baka me >_< So yes today i promise myself I'll do what i need to do! SO yes me do what i need to tomororw and my thats all for my update >_< and my i'm such a baka for not eating today!

Mew u,u not feeling so well right now.

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 05:02:44 GMT

Myu, i don't feel good at all right now. My body feels hot, i feel uncomfortable. I took my temperature and it said i was 97.4 degrees farenheit. But i'm not sure if it was accurate cuse i took it under my arm. *Sighs* I just want to go rest right now, but i also want to write a bit on althanas myu. I think i should probably just drink lotsa water right now =/ *Sighs* anyway althanas is going well and my character's storylines are coming out nicely ^_^ I'm really enjoying writing there and gah...>_< I feel so hot right now and it isn't comfortable hot its uncomfortable hot where i want to go duck my head under a cold shower. Meow u,u i felt better a little bit when i ate my cold ice cream, but now i don't feel well again. *SIghs* I probably should just go to bed early soon, but at lesat now my brain doesn't feel like mush. ^_^ mew mew, i think i'll try to get a few posts in on althanas. I mean yes i feel like crap, but if i can write something maybe I"ll feel better. Myu, myu anyway thats all for now, and i hope everyone of you guys is doing alright ^_^ Talk to ya'll later for now and take care!

I want chinese food.

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 05:43:16 GMT

Yup I want chinese food. Meow, I want veggie egg rolls, and vegetable lo mein or fried rice! *Drools* Must make trip down to china town to pick some up. *Licks lips* Yum yum is all i have to say. Mew nothing much is new except i have another dentist appointment this tuesday, this one i believe is probably to fill up m ycavaities. Then i need to talk to my dentist about where i go to get my root canal done. She probably is going to recommend me to a place. Other then that, and my craving for chinese food. Nothing is new, job searching yes I am, but safely placing away my applicatoins >_< Noipe i'm miss scatter brain! Silly silly me! Anyway hopefully i'll get some type of job soon, if not then bleh, i'll manage somehow. In Januaray I have a trip up to see a freind and go to his local anime con. Hopefully Emma will be able to come with me.

Other then that nothing really is new, and i'm just sitting here bored and thinking about going to rest and watch anime, then bed. Or my other option is to stay online and write more in my threads and chat. Mew I don't know XD I"m miss confused right now! Anyway thats all for now mew mew, so for now talk to ya'll later! *Scampers off*

Mew finally went to the dentist and bleh i'm feeling too sleepy for my own good!

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 03:15:26 GMT

Went to the dentist finally >_< I have a root canal i need to get done, the root canal is annoying and expensive! *SIghs* Bye bye to money for that >_< the cavities are no big deal mew. Other then that i've been feeling way to tired for my own good. No matter how much sleep i get i still feel tired =/ I think i have a sleeping disorder or something >_< whcih sucks but anyway oh well i'll just need caffinee to wake up a bit more thats all. Anyway other then that my life is good =D Whee i recently bought Mai Hime down in chinatown. AWESOME anime! Whee ^_^. Unfornately my trip down to Ocean city, Maryland with emma to meet up wiht one of our freinds Lew, got canceled cuse he got into a car accident and has to pay a hefty repair bill >_< Which of course sucks, cuse I was seriously looking forward to the trip.

Anyway other then that, my life has been good, except my freind and I had a seirous discussion and she wonders why my parents don't help me with certain things >.> Um unlike her folks which only have her to support, my family has like 4 other kids to take care of and my stepsister and my brother is in college so yeah, i kinda have to fend for myself cuse they don't really have the money to support me, like her parents do to support her. *Sighs* I guess she just doesn't understand that my situation is different then hers. I mean I appreciate her help and all, but she can't really help me if she doesn't fully understand my situation.

Anyway thats all i had to say for this update, so yeah I"ll update more later guys and TTFN! *Scurries off to complete more posting on althanas* Yeah >.> Need to play catch u pon althanas XD I"m behind in my posts!

Whirlwind of emotions

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 09:27:42 GMT

Well I'm going to start off with a poem for ya'll.

Whirlwind

Tipsy, turvy, upside, inside it, spinning, spinning and it all ends in tears

Sunshine, Daisies, Moonlight dewy and starry skys, all the means of romance and happiness

Sadness, a frown, a kiss, a smile a spinning dance of joy, all emotions

That someone shows, these are known to let others know how you feel

These whirlwind of emotions can be either good or bad

They can lead to the brightest path of happiness or they can lead to the darkest path of sadness

Whichever path you choose affects your life...so be sure to choose wisely.......

Ok theres the poem for ya'll to read. *Sighs* I wrote it because lately i've gone through all those whirlwinds of emotions. I"ve been sad, so very sad where all I"ve wanted to do was be alone. But I never was because my freinds always wanted to see me. I was happy, my happiest time being when I was at Otakon and I wasn't thinking so much that my thougths caused me to be sad. My heart has been sore, my heart has hurt, I"ve cried, I"ve silekntly wished that I had a different sort of life. I"ve wished that I"ve been a different person, but all in all these were just strings brought on by the emotions I felt. I know this yet, sometimes when my emotions overwhelm me..I just can't help but let the damn loose then I cry. I know I posted about my emotions before, I know i posted aobut being upset and how at most times I want to be alone. Well I know that this is just faucets of my deep emotions, mainly they are caused by when friends give me immense problems. This one really isn't bad per say, its just worrisome....a gal pal of mine, well shes making an issue bigger then she needs to make it. Her boyfreind's grandma apparently passed away, I was told this by a mutual freind of ours. However, he never told me taht she passed away, he merely let me know that she was in the hospital. So this girl is making it bigger then it needs to be, but, i'm sure everything will smooth over when I get a chance to talk to her. Also today I went to see the Skeleton Key with my mom. (I'm visiting there right now and for once I'm truly happy ^_^) *Sighs* Yeah thats another thing. I'm only semi happy living with my father. I'm not truly happy there, but my current problem is I have so many friends there or near there that it makes it hard to move away. So yeah, whenever I visit my mom's I feel happier even though she has crappy dial up and my dad has dsl, my mom has other things which i appreciate more such as CABLE! But anyway thats enough for my emotional rant, *Sighs* Since not many people are online I may either go off and play Shadow Hearts Covenant, or go watch one of my animes. or go Snuggle with my Kilala plushie I got from Otakon. (Anime Convention) So yeah I"ll talk to ya'll later and I know I don't update much...but I'll try to update more in here.

Meow meow >.> I've got a headache >_

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 20:16:41 GMT

Me thinks we drank to much yesterday when i went with friends to a bar >_< I have a headache and me feel woozy meow. *Looks around for a nice soft pillow and some tylonel* Mew i need to either eat more food or drink water while drinking liquor at the same time. *Nod nod* anyway it was fun yesterday and right now i'm at my friend Mikee's. I had an enlightneing conversation with Holy Dragon Sword >.> Er Aidan to some and AllrpgHDS. For somke reason he seems to quote unquote recognize me from another life or something. Its kinda kewl and I do care for him, but still wow is all I gotta say about that one. ^_^ Anyways i just decided to post a few random things taht was on my mind, plus i hadn't posted in this thing for awhile. *Plops down in bed* Mew i'm off to go rest now so talk to ya all later and take care!

Sighs Gah >.> i'm starting to enjoy being in nature more then....being with freinds......

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 00:05:34 GMT

Like the title says, it feels as if i'm starting to enjoy solitude more =/ I don't know why either. But for some strange reason when I"m with freinds, I'm happy and i'm enjoying myself but for some reason I feel more at peace when i'm in nature just reading a book or taking one of my dogs for a walk. Now i'm listening to music at my home and the house is empty and I feel peace. *Sighs once more* I have no idea why i feel more content when no one is around and I can just relax and read a book. I guess i just have a preference for quietness. Anyway, I just got back from my July 4th plans. I went out with a few of my freinds, Emma, Jill, Her boyfriend Aidan and our freind Mikee. It was very enjoyable. We went out for dinner and then we went to see the New York fireworks live. It was very beautiful the fireworks. I had a nice time, but now after well getting off the train with Emma, i felt like just stopping for a bit and reading. I read for awhile near where the bus stops at my street. IT was calm and peaceful, i still probably would be reaidng outdoors if the rain hadn't driven me indoors. *Smiles weakly* I guess i just need some alone time at times, to gather my bearings and find my center again. Anyway I hope everyone had a Happy fourth and had fun on the day of independence. Happy fourth guys and take care!

Sighs Friends can be so annoying sometimes.

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 02:04:30 GMT

Bah, sometimes friends can be pains. Ok this girl her name is Jaimi, she called and said that I don't see her enough and stuff like that. Said that she wanted me to change and that I was acting like a bitch right now. I know I wasn't with her, in fact i've been very restrained with her in terms of my temper and everything. She also thought that I needed to go back on meds> When in all honesty I wasn't myself. Personally my family feels that I shouldn't go on meds because they changed me. Anyway all in all she really pissed me off, but i'm going to have a talk with her again, not now because its too late but at some point tomororw i'm going to talk to her. Anyway other then that and a fight I had with m yfreind today I'm fine. Basically today I helped my freind wiht his game today and played a litlte bit of Shadow Hearts Covenant. Also unfortnately my boyfriend and I broke up, so I'm single again. I'm a litlte hurt about that (Was more hurt when the break up happened but that was about a week and a half ago) But now i'm pretty much fine over it. Anyway thats all I have to say for now, if I think of more to post then i'll type up another entry ^_^ For now TTFN and take care guys!

More quizzes I took. Theres alot so i'm cutting some of it!

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 03:29:57 GMT

Life is good and bad. You know it can never be
perfect and that it never have been, and you're
fine with that. You still feel it's important
to live life since it can end any day and not
sulk because of some little failure in life.
You are often a happy person, still you don't
laugh all the time. You have a somewhat calm
aura and most people feel comfortable around
you.

How do you see life?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your soul is happy.
You live life like its all a fun game. You
don't like to take things seriously which is
both good and bad. Due to your fun loving
nature you don't like steady boyfriends that
much. They come and go, and you simply aren't
ready for your true love to come just yet.
Generally you are a good friend who can cheer
up those in need of it and are fun to hang out
with. You hate feeling sad yourself and avoid
it the best you can. Parties and social
gatherings are your things, whether it be in
small or large groups of people. It is no
surprise that you are well-liked among your
peers.

How is your soul?(pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a free spirited soul. You are a wild
person! You aren't afraid to speak your mind
when it is nessisary. You don't like to get
into trouble but sometimes you get caught at
the wrong place at the wrong time. You don't
let that get you down for long though. Your
always curious and love adventure. This is how
you usually get into that trouble. You also
love it when people have your same views. You
can't stand people who seem average and fallow
the same paths of everyone else. You got some
spirit so keep it up! ^_^

What kind of soul do you have? ( ENCHANTING anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Your element is Light. Your heart is pure and
shining with love. You believe in the goodness
of those around you and give almost everyone a
smile. You are not the kind to hide your
happiness and tend to smile all day long, both
in and out. But when sadness hits you, you
become very devastated and may be upset for
quite some time. What you need in your life is
friends, friends who will love you
unconditionally, like you love them. But you
have a naive nature and don't always notice
when someone is trying to hurt you. Some would
say you are oblivious to mean people, which
makes you an easy target. However, your true
friends will probably be there for you and save
you. In school you are either the popular one
or the little weird one. It all depends if
"the higher people" find your caring
side irritating or not. Nevertheless, you have
a bubbly personality and are social. Big partys
may not be your thing since you want bonding
time with your friends, so slumber-partys fit
you more. You like the happy things in life and
like everyone else to be as happy as you are.
Rate and message!

Your wise quote is: "Be kind to unkind people,
they probably need it the most" by
Ashleigh Brilliant.
You try to look beyond apperance, try to give
people second chances and are probably very
kind. Understanding is your biggest personality
trait, and thoose you can see through should be
grateful. If they aren't already. You detest
narrow minded people, because they can't see
what's really there. Facades is not your thing
and you strive to always be who you really are.

What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla

Lalalala fish?(Ick) Lollipops?(Sticky!)Chocolate?(Sweet)

Sat, 28 May 2005 07:10:54 GMT

*Chuckles* Aye i'm silly silly and in a good mood. I think i'm going to get myself some yummy vanilla ice cream to eat soon ^_^ PLus i'm seeing Star WArs 3(FINALLY!)tomorrow. Bad part is i'm seeing it by myself...good part is I finally get to see it. I"m seeing a really early showing of it at 12:45 pm in the afternoon tomororw. You'll get my review of it on here by the time i return. Well you'll get a review that is if I didn't go off to nap since my guess is I won't be getting any sleep tonight >.> *Stretches again* Mew yup that ice cream sounds awfully yummy right about now. *Pauses her post to go get ice cream* *Comes back with her ice cream* Mmmm nummy ^_^ Ice cream is the best! Anyway mew mew Otakon is coming soon ^_^ Really looking foward to it. Unfortantely though this year most of our orignal room mates bailed on me and Emma so we had ot advertise our room on the board ^_^ In fact we may have a suite filled with 8 people. From the looks of things that is what seems to be happening. Its a good thing in terms of the room price is drastically cut down, bad thing is the room will be a little cramped and shower time will be limited due to people needing to shower =/ Oh well we'll work something out. Other then that i don't have much else to report other then me being bored. Though I Did see my freind Dario during the past two days ^_^ I had a nice time there. We played Sonic Adventure 2 Battle and Sonic Heroes. Good times, Good times ^_^ Anyway i'm probably going to go to sleepies shortly so i can get up at a reasonable hour to watch STar WArs 3 ^_^ For now later all TTFN and I"ll post in this thing more later!

Oh joy i have more potentinal for the light side then the dark side!

Mon, 23 May 2005 22:18:51 GMT

Lalalala bored and slightly annoyed

Sun, 22 May 2005 03:40:59 GMT

Gah my friend is so annoying! He just doesn't know when to stop holding a grudge and when to let go of the past. *Sigh* I tell him to let it go but he doesn't listen!*Grumbles* Other then that my day has been good ^_^ worked on a thread on althanas and got pretty far in it ^_^ Then i've just been relaxing playing on neopets a little bit and been on Gaia Online ^_^ Also May 25th i'm going up to my friend Dario's with Emma to spend the night or week or a few days at his house. We also are going to see the third Star Wars movie ^_^ That should be alot of fun. Good freinds, video games, movies anime lots of fun ^_^ Anyway i've run out of things to say >.> Short entry but blah. *Goes back to her romance novel* Post more later ya'll TTFN!

Posting in this thing after so long, even when I should be bed!

Mon, 09 May 2005 08:11:07 GMT

Hey guys how long has it been since I"ve posted in this thing? Four months about I believe lol. Anyway my life is pretty good, even though I didn't particularly get the SSI i'm sitll doing alright. Before I begin mine and Emma's friend Matt came in. It was a fun time and I really enjoyed my time that he was here. Later today I'm going for a voluteer interview at an animal shelter. It should go well ^_^ and if I do well with this then my mom will get me a cell phone =D which i'm really happy about. *Yawns* Gah played catch up today on althanas and literally burned myself off writing in 6 threads. Yes, yes I know I get myself in too much but its fun! and now i'm utterly exhausted wanting soda >.> and candy and heh might as well just go to sleep after I finish up writing my thoughts. IF and when my mom gets me my cell phone i'll be able to be reached much more easily =D and mew tomorrow i get a yummy dinner =D Fried chicken with creamy gravy, corn on the cob and yummy mashed potatoes, a fancy frzoen dinner thats really yummy! and i'm also hving pierogies for breakfast! *Drools* The heaven's of junk food and yummy food! I was at Emma's for 2 weeks so i did get good food but nothing like this, nothing like whats my fav fav foods! This weekend my birthday weekend i'm visiting a friend down in Pennsylvania. I"m staying at his house for that weekend, til sunday to be exact and we are going to Dorney Park which is an amusement park and we are going out for Habachi for my b-day dinner =D which will be fun and the dinner will be yummy. We also may get ice cream cake or something to celebrate. Also Otakon pre reg is up >.> out of some of my birthday money i'm going have to pay the 40 dollar pre reg. ^_^ anyway6 me hungry (Craving chicken nuggets and french fries >.> Gah why am I in the mood for junk food so much?) wanting soda and needing sleep so thats all for the updates now guys! I"ll starting posting in this thing again for now me off to bed! Night everyone!

Gah, tired, headache and my throat hurts!

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 08:48:08 GMT

When will my goddam sick feelng go away? Now i have a stuffy nose, its sore and my throat is sore as hell, lately I've been needing to drink cold water to feel better. Heh, I hope this goes away soon or else i'm gonna have to shelf my pride and see a doctor. The dentist though i really need to go to >.> STupid lack of dental insurance and an even biggger stupid lack of health insurance! *Buys Orajel and advil and stuff for sore throat soon!* aye I'm going to do that i really need to >.> My stupid teeth and body just don't like me anymore! Ok, enough with the ranting. Other then that my life's been fine. Its Valentine's day, i don't hate the holiday, I think its sweet. But thats cusei 'm a romantinc. I didn't do anything today though, just headed home ffrom emma's. Emma's was fun we had boston market for dinner on sunday. Anyway thats all really i have to update on. Althanas has been keeping me busy as usual, but other hten that nothihng really new. I"ll update more later! TTFN!

Feeling crappy

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 06:41:30 GMT

Angels from above, heaven below, does time stop? Or does it go?
Ray of light, snuffed out by a demon's angry black fire, can it survive? Or no?
Time freezes, people die, people are reborn, nothing is ever how its planned.
Everything is always changing, nothing is how you think it'll be.

What do you do? When that happens? Do you sit down and cry? or stand up?
Sometimes you give up, sometimes its inevitable, there is just nothing more you an do.
However, at times there is light, but its hard to find.
You just need to look past the darkness and find that light.
Then perhaps happiness can come to you again.

Heh, *Sigh* This poem i just did fits my current mood perfectly. Thought i should sleep soon. Anyway life isn't going to well for me, Emma's mom is being annoying and now we hae to restrict our hangouts due to her mother's interference. other hten that i'm ok. Though i'm gonna defiantely search for a job soon, gonna try at BArnes and Noble. ANd i'm gonna try to exercise, and slim down a little bit, other then that i have no other big plans. I"m good though feeling a little sick, but thats probably due to lack of sleep, anyway i don't have much more to say so TTFN guys and love you guys! I'll update more later!

Grrrrrr! One of my friends is being such an annoying little pest!

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 04:37:40 GMT

*Sigh* I've already said that I don't have a job, that I applied for SSI (Well i think I've said this...but anyway) and all that jazz, I wanna look for a job, but past issues, like failing at work as well. as at college is preventing me from pushing myself to achieve these issues. Fear of failure sucks, its like a little black parastic worm that squeezes at you slowly and slowly, preventing you form accomplishing what you really do need to accomplish. That is honestly what it feels like for me and I hate it. I want to do better, I want to have a job and everything, but past things just end up biting me in the ass. Which of course sucks and I need to overcome it, but its still hard. I am severly hoping that my SSI comes thorugh so at least part of my mental anguish and worries can be soothed. Heh, right now i'm carefully monitering the money I have. If SSI doesn't go thorugh then i'll look for a job, heh, maybe i should look now but the weather's simply awful, however, peopole do work through this weather so yeah >.> anyway nothing new has happened other then i'm wroking on a few things on althanas. Life's decent, well sorta decent but anyway. Thats all i have for now, i wish my freind would stop being a pain, but she doesn't know when to quit. Anyway ttfn and I"ll update more later guys!

Curious

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 08:44:38 GMT

If you and I were alone in my room right now, what would we be doing?

(Now post this in your LJ, and see what people want to do with you.)

Whew Althanas has been keeping me busy!

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 08:00:36 GMT

Whew i've been quite busy on althanas lately. I mean god today i posted over 10 times in some of the same threads a new one and some i've been putting off. Gosh i didnt' realize how many threads i've gotten myself into XD lol well at least one finished today which i'm happy about ^_^ Mew mew. Nothing much new has been happening, though recenty I went on a freinds tour and i'm seeing a freind tomorrow. Though this friend is slightly bitchy and complains about me not having a job, well the economy sucks! Thats why its difficult for me to get a freaking job! Anyway i'm sure something will work out for me in that area. Oh and i found some interesting new recipes ^_^ Though i lost the sheet with them on and plus my numbers XD Wah i have to ask my stepmom where that sheet went off to . Meow meow anyway soon i'll be on another friends tour, seeing Emma and Jillian again meow. Oh well, that'll be fun and i'm also seeing my freind Scott on the 13th. Chinatown again! Wheeee! Yeee! Yay! I can pickup another complete set down there! Fushigi yugi second season here I come! I also wanna pick up Weiss Kreutz, but cash is low so one thing at a time! I"m getting lunch down there to, their food down there is great ^_^ Anyway thats all on my updates soon I'll be gone from my dad's house agian XD I don't tend to stay here to long do I? Hehe, anyway thats all for now! TTFN and mmm candy is good but i've been snacking on it to much! I"ll update more later! ^_^

Feeling down at the moment. Feeling a litlte sick, and childhood memories flashing through my mind.

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 12:28:32 GMT

*Sigh* Ever get that time, where you reflect back on your life, and releaze that some things that happened you wish didn't? Well I was just thinking about that now, while I was trying to sleep and well it got me feeling very very sad. I mean I releazed that some of my freinds from when I lived in Illinois, might have taken advantage of me. I was a bit naive back then, a bit to childish and really probably didn't understand what it meant to be taken advantage of. Now that i'm older and I reflect back on what happened and the things said, and actions my freinds did with me and I realeaze I probably was taken advantage of. I also found out after I had moved to New york from one of my Rock Island freinds, that if I hadn't moved, they probably would have broken their friendships with me. Now that hurt, I didn't really think on it then, but tonight, er today I did. and I releazed it left a pretty deep emotional scar in my heart, so deep in fact that sometimes I feel like I can't trust my friends, like their is a lurking doubt that they'll betray me in some way or use me in some way. I believe that I"m too much a soft hearted person, to kind, to gentle and that those who want their way will take advantage of me. I mean I trust my freinds, and those I grew close with I love. But, there still is that lurking fear of doubt that I"ll be hurt, so its really hard for me to give full trust to my freinds. *Sighs and criessoftly* I mean sometimes I wish that I could just find some sweet nice gentle guy, one who truly understands me, I know i probably sound childish like I"m wishing for a fairy tale, but at times I wish that, thats probably why I read so many romance novels, to escape to dream to fantatize about the life I wish I could live. Its just sometimes life can be so hard, and when you feel like your alone, like hte ones you hope will be there for you aren't, then it hurts, and it scars. Furthermore, I sometimes just help people with no arguement, like with chores or something trivia, when in all honesty they should do it themselves. But, I don't want to fight, in fact I hate fighting and confrontations so I try to avoid them Sometimes I hurt myself emotionally by doing something I shouldn't to try and make another happy. I think I'm the type of person who puts others happiness before their own. I think i'm just to kind, and even if I get hurt I'd prefer t osee others happy. I guess thats why at times, I have these crying sprees where I wish my life could be different, its because of the pain that I hide in my heart, that causes me to suffer alone. I guess sometimes I need to be more open about my problems, my fears and my dreams. That way perhaps I won't feel so alone, and maybe I will let go of these emotional pains I have. Forgive me for saying all this, but its been buried in my heart for so long that I just had to get it out. THanks for listening guys and if you have anything to say go ahead. Love you guys and for now I think thats all. I'll update more later.

Dammit all to hell.....

Wed, 29 Dec 2004 07:18:12 GMT

This same girl, as in my other two journal post really crossed the line today. She didn't believe me when i saidi something, so i gave her proof involving what i said. Then she was all crude and rude and really crossed hte line, god she is such a bitch! heh, anyway i'm feeling better now but still she needs to get her fucking head in reality and i wanna help her but well she doesnt 'seem to want help. But anyway i think its beyond my reach and plus she called me a know it all. heh, i just try to help thats all but anyway. enough about that. I'm good today, i didn't bake my cookies XD but i will tomorrow and well besides miss insufferable headache girl, i had a few arguements wiht a freind i chilled wiht today, but we got over it, all in all today was a headache. But i'm good now and relaxed. Thats all for now i'll update more later, after i finish being upset.